“Man is the one who desires, woman the one who is desired. This is woman’s entire but decisive advantage. Through man’s passions, nature has given man into woman’s hands, and the woman who does not know how to make him her subject, her slave, her toy, and how to betray him with a smile in the end is not wise.”
― Leopold von Sacher-Masoch
Leather. Ah the feel of it. There’s something about leather on the skin that makes one feel powerful, devilish, and ready for something sexy, something steamy, and perhaps something a tad subversive. If your fancy is being titillated by the thought of leather, you are not alone. Yes, sexy Madame, you are one of the millions of women who are in touch with their sexual dominatrix.
Of course, it is obvious that in the world we live in, it is impossible not to partake in the hierarchy known as dominant and submissive. With co-workers, family, friends, and lovers, there is always one person bent over and taking it up the ass in one way or another, so why hide it in the boudoir? Sadomasochism is the way of the world, and is most likely, in one form or another, already in everyone’s bedroom as well. But why dip those toes in, when full submergence can bring about a new sexual dimension that burns with intensity, drama, mystery, and primal desire? Who knows what may emerge about oneself, one’s lover or one’s relationship? One never knows, until one tries. So, find out for yourself by entering SCANDALOUS’ Dungeon to learn the secret of dominatrixes and how to make your love life hurt so good!
The History of S&M
S&M’s formal written history started in the late 1700’s with the Marquis de Sade, an infamous French aristocrat that spent most of his life in prison for his cruel acts and excess in brothels. While imprisoned for 30 years, he wrote about his fantasies of domination, assault, and degradation of the body. He felt the world had one power structure: dominant and submissive. This opinion labeled him as a criminal and sexual deviant, and eventually caused him to spend his last nine years confined to an insane asylum. His tales of aggression are now his legacy.
The “bottom” story is first claimed by Austrian born Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (1836-1895). Having penned over 90 titles, von Sacher-Masoch had one book reach acclaim – Venus In Furs. In the book, he vicariously carries out his fantasy through words: submitting to his ideal woman created of skin and fur. The crueler she was to him, the more he longed for her. Through his pain and humiliation, he derived his pleasure. Historians say his wife was the muse for Venus, although she never acquiesced to his degradation desires. In the end, his wife gave in, sent him to an asylum, and declared him dead, thus granting him the ultimate humiliation.
Bringing the two sides together to form one cohesive sexual union of complimenting passions was German physician and neurologist, Richard von Krafft-Ebing. Considered an authority on sexual deviance, he did vast research into sexual psychopathology and saw the obvious pairing. Hence, sadomasochism was recognized.
Just like any form of sexual pleasure, there are different strokes for different folks, and like penises, S&M comes in many shapes and sizes. The three most popular forms are: sadomasochism, dominance and submission, and bondage and discipline. Although each can by practiced independently, they usually work as a progression to enhance one another.
Tying it together to create a “scene” are the fetishes, which are the pleasurable details involving the eroticism of a typically non-sexual object. Of course, we all have heard about the foot fetish, but it can range from anything from calculators to alligators. S&M is about unleashing the imagination, and anything that makes the experience hotter and more sumptuous goes. It is about role-play and complete submission to the experience, and to one’s partner. When a couple forms this nonjudgmental forum to express and create their fantasies, they grow a bond that most do not usually touch upon. As many couples who practice S&M believe, it brings them closer.
Mixed into the sharing of fantasies is also discovering each other’s limits. The foundation of any S&M relationship is, “safe, sane, and consensual.” It is necessary to always make an agreement of what activities can and can’t happen. Also, a “safe word” is agreed upon; some word or signal that acts like a red alert button to end or slow down the scene. After the agreements, action begins!
Setting the StageAccording to Mistress Raven, creating a scene is just like putting on any dramatic production: “You need to bring in all the elements to get you in the mindset—the right costumes are a must. Leather, rubber, vinyl, or PVC is preferable and high heels or high boots are crucial. For the slave, a collar is needed and perhaps a leash. It is about the sensual role-play, having the music, setting, and costumes, and using your mind. The only limit is your imagination.”
2. A fabulous finale for him: while he is blindfolded, crack an egg over his cock and balls and give him a hand job. “They don’t know what the hell it is, and it feels great.”
3. Put a little toothpaste in your pussy right before sex. During sex, it will foam up, make the skin cool and tingly, and then hot. Be sure this is towards the end, or during a quickie, because the sensation will burn after five minutes.
4. Go to a pharmacy, get some ALUM and douche with it. It will tighten your pussy and make you feel like a virgin all over again.
5. Eating cinnamon makes semen tastier. Pineapple juice makes your pussy sweeter.
6. Leaving marks is a no-no for many. Whip without residual visuals by using a nylon cord soaked overnight in grape fruit or lemon juice. During the session, use fine sandpaper to buff whatever is going to be whipped and then flog away! It’s amazing how it will leave no marks, and it will hurt like a motherfucker for a few days. Read More
Power ShoppingSo you want to be treated like the Princess that you are? Curious about kink but a little embarrassed to go shopping for toys? BDSM is all about the attitude & the look and is a wonderfully fun and sexy way to explore your erotic boundaries. Getting the necessary tools discreetly is often challenging, though. Read this Scandalous guide to Erotic Power Shopping for tips and tricks on turning your bedroom into a dungeon for your men to service you without your nosy neighbors finding out!
Real World ShoppingStores that sell BDSM toys aren’t just in the seedy sides of big cities anymore! They’ve popped up in small towns and affluent suburbs all over the country! That’s good because toys are easier than ever to purchase. It’s bad, though, because it’s now much easier to be spotted by someone you know coming and going. The question then is do you want to go to the sex shop next to your hair salon or grocery store where people you know will see you? Probably not! So drive to the other side of your city of the next town over to purchase your kinky stuff.
Not ready to peruse the sex toy shops yet? Believe it or, you can find toys almost anywhere. Pet stores are great for collars and leashes to lead your guys around your bedroom with. Hardware and home improvement stores carry a variety items, including soft nylon ropes for restraining your slaves while you punish them or pleasure yourself with them. Ping Pong paddles are excellent tools for spanking and are always available at department stores and sporting goods stores. For more heavy duty flogging, any belt you have will do the trick as well as the riding crop you can purchase an an equestrian store.
Online ShoppingDo you want you toys shipped to you quickly and disreetly? Scandalous! recommends the following:
Babeland: If you happen to live in Seattle or Brooklyn you can visit the four Babeland locations. For the rest of us, this female-friendly store (owned by Claire Cavanah and Rachel Venning ) offers top quality products along with information and encouragement to women who wanted to explore their sexuality.
The Stockroom: JT’s Stockroom is the original internet source for quality sex toys. The company was founded in 1988, and the internet has been their primary market since 1990. They are now in their 20th year selling sex toys, bondage gear and restraints online, catering to both the kink curious novice to the extreme bdsm player.
An important THIRD option!
If you or one or you men is handy with tools, here is an awesome book on making your own kinky toys! Kinkycrafts contains 99 “Do it Yourself” S&M projects organized into six major catagories: bondage furniture, pain toys, flagellation toys, restraints, sexual toys and unclassifiable (items like tongue condoms and tool racks). Each project has instructions, a materials list, cost and time estimates and a picture.
Top 6 Role Playing Scenarios
1. Amazon goddess and slave
2. Teacher and naughty student
3. Next door neighbor and the peeping Tom
4. Boss and secretary
5. Doctor and patient
6. Interrogator and prisoner
For decades the vampish and powerful Hollywood actress has been, for better or worse, a role model for women world-wide. Scandalouswomen.com celebrates the emergence of women, and especially dominant women, into increasingly explicit positions of superiority over males in the cinema, literature, and the rest of popular culture. Here’s a sample of Dominant Celebrities.
Eva Longoria is a Dominatrix? You might consider her realistic portrayal of kinky cuckolding Gabrielle Solis in Desperate Housewives as “getting into character,” but her role might be mirroring real life. In recent months Ms. Longoria has reportedly cracked the verbal and conjugal whip repeatedly on her submissive husband, basketball star Tony Parker, whom Longoria treats in the bedroom as an eager but “fumbling schoolboy.”
“I’m the teacher,” she told the press at one point during their courtship. Speaking to friends more recently, she added, “Tony’s learning — but he knows who’s in charge.” Friends of Eva Longoria say she is definitely the more dominant person in her relationship. A source adds: “Eva wears the trousers in the relationship.”
Megan Fox needs no introduction as an actress, nor, recently, as the world’s leading spokesinatrix for female dominance. Her “vagina power” interview says it all.
“Women hold the power,” she tells Cosmo, “because we have the vaginas. If you’re in a heterosexual relationship and you’re a female, you win.”
“I collect attractive boys… I never call them guys. I always called them boys. Maybe it’s a superiority complex — my needing to keep them down.”
Repeated femdom roles, and a frequenter domination clubs in real life. Says gal pal Jenny Shimizu, “I took her to dominatrix joints and she loved them all. The darker the better… she’s not going to be a housewife. You can’t control Angelina.”
Jolie admits to pushing the boundaries with her lovers, “both emotional and sexual. That’s when I’ve felt the sexiest. I’ve been in dominant roles because I want more.”
Rihanna once said, “I think I’m a bit masochistic … I love to be tied up and spanked. I like to be whipped … But I prefer to be spontaneous. Using whips and chains is too planned … you have to stop and look for the whip. I prefer them to use their hands.” As if her hit song S&M wasn’t revealing enough, she once was spotted leaving a Canadian sex toy shop with $1,000 worth of booty, including a riding crop. OUCH!
According to Star magazine, Britney’s home contains a “fantasy room” featuring whips, handcuffs, paddles, nipple clamps, mirrored ceilings, and an entire rack of sexy costumes. Heavy, dark curtains cover the windows and the only light comes from bordello-red bulbs, which barely illuminate the pink and black color scheme and the large bed with black satin sheets. Queen Britney reigns supreme in her own Red Room of Pain.
Jennifer Love Hewitt
In 2012, Hewitt expressed her desire to play the part of Anastasia in the movie based on bestseller “Fifty Shades of Grey.” According to a 2010 quote from RadarOnline, about one of Love Hewitts’s parties with her friends, the actress shopped for sexy lingerie, designer sex toys and beauty products.”