On an average Friday night I’ll be pulling on my black dress over my Agent Provocateur thong and stockings and grabbing a handful of condoms from my roommate – who always reminds me to use them all. Well, I might need them, I am going to sex party, after all!
It was my last boyfriend, Mark. Who encouraged me to try group sex. I met him in college when I was 20 and he was 23 and fell head over heels in love. I was a virgin when we met, but I soon became very experimental in bed – you’re only young once, after all! When he told me he would love to watch me with another man I was intrigued, not shocked. The thought of being in a situation where I could have sex with as many people as I wanted, in an environment where I wouldn’t be judged, turned me on.
Even so, the first time I went to a sex party with him I was really nervous. I wanted to try it, but I needed a few glasses of wine just to get myself out the door. As soon as I walked in, everything changed. The party was held in a beautiful London hotel. Every room was full of plush leather sofas and candles and all the bar staff wore black ties – it just didn’t feel seedy at all. I could feel at least ten men’s eves on me – I felt powerful knowing I could seduce every single one of them.
That first time really opened my eyes. Mark had to guide me through the etiquette: if people wanted sex with you they would place a hand on the small of your back. If you wanted to refuse, it was fine, just say no. If a door to a room is open then the people inside are inviting you to join them, if it’s closed then whats going on inside is for the participants’ pleasure only.
My first experience in the club was with another man, with Mark watching. We were standing at the bar when a really hot guy approached us and started flirting. I was flattered because he was so good looking – nothing like the fat, middle-aged business men that I had expected to come to parties like this. My stomach lurched when he asked us to join him in the back room. Mark had already told me that this was where all the action took place, and I couldn’t believe I was about to have sex with a man I’d only just met. The second we entered the room he began to kiss me. It was really sensual and gentle. I felt safe knowing that Mark was watching and then the next thing I knew, I was naked on a bed with the other man and we were fondling each other.
Mark and I split up a few months later as he was going traveling, but I knew that I couldn’t stop going to sex parties. I was addicted. I go to an ‘event’ once a month now, which I get told about through emails and texts, and usually sleep with up to about six guys.
Everyone is careful about safe sex and there are bowls of condoms in every room. I’d never have sex with someone who wouldn’t use protection – its just not worth the risk.
I’ve now been single for about four months and have been swinging on my own and with friends. Most parties are kept secret until the night before. The scene is really quite exclusive because they don’t want loads of random people turning up. I’ve been to small private parties in homes with about ten people, and have also attended big swingers’ balls with hundreds.
I’ve had some really funny moments at sex parties. One evening a very attractive blonde asked me to join her and her partner. It was only when I met him in the voyeur’s room (a room with a two-way mirror) that I realized the man was an old teacher of mine. Luckily, he didn’t seem to recognize me and the three of us ended up having the most amazing experience in the Jacuzzi – I had eight orgasms!
Some people might think my sex life is strange, but to me it’s perfectly normal. Everyone has their preferences in bed and mine just happens to he group sex. Some nights I’d like to be snuggled up with a boyfriend instead of having sex with strangers, but I’d probably get bored sleeping with the same person all the time. One day I’ll get married and be monogamous but I want to enjoy life as much as possible While I’m still young.
Quite a few of my close friends know about my ‘hobby’ and they think it’s fantastic. Many have confessed that they’d secretly love to try it. I think women are starting to realize that they have every right to sexual gratification – it’s no longer just about the men in the bedroom. Women want new experiences too. I think my friends can see how confident my sex life makes me and how I feel empowered by it all. I also get a lot of male attention when I go out – they like that I’m so self-assured.
Swinging doesn’t define me – I am also a graduate, an aunt and, hopefully, I’ll he a wife and mother one day. But at the moment it certainly plays a big part in my life. I love it.