Science of Male Orgasm Denial

In an update to her popular article The Orgasmic Benefits of Male Orgasm Denial, Aislin Acquati explores the biological and evolutionary reality of male orgasms and how limiting them can improve your relationships.

Dominate His Brain Chemicals By Controlling His Orgasms

Male orgasm denial has numerous benefits, but do you know the chemical reasoning behind them? Endorphins, hormones, neurotransmitters, and neurochemicals affect how we think and feel. By controlling your mens orgasms, you can control their brain chemicals. Without any supervision or domination, men will masturbate and have as many orgasms as they please – which creates chemical chaos.

What are Endorphins?

Endorphins are a group of hormones that influence emotions and minimize the sensation of pain. They attach to opiate receptors, mostly in the brain. Pain and stress most typically influence endorphins to be released. They operate similarly to codeine and morphine.

Women Can Handle Daily Orgasms – but Men Need To Be Denied

It’s true – orgasms affect men and women differently.

It is empowering to know that you can enjoy multiple orgasms on a daily basis while withholding them from your lovers. Knowing there are hormonal reasons behind the theory is just icing on the cake!

Endorphins and Other Chemicals That Control The Brain

1. Endorphins: Natural painkiller that is extremely more potent than morphine – produces feelings of euphoria.

2.  Oxytocin, the Love , cuddle and bonding hormone: Decreases cravings – diminishes stress  – keeps couples together – provokes passion, attachment and deep feelings – strengthens sexual receptivity.

Normal/Raised Levels of Oxytocin: Devotion – a feeling of being connected – feeling protective and responsible – health benefits (reduces blood pressure and speeds up wound healing) – intense feeling of attachement – increases sexual receptiveness –   less addictions and cravings – positive viewpoint.
Low Levels of Oxytocin: Depression – low sex drive – reduced, indifferent or no feelings of of attachement, connection or devotion – poor or no feelings of protection and responsibility for another person – weakened immune system.

3. Dopamine, the “I have to have it” neurochemical:

Normal/Slightly Raised Levels of Dopamine: Generates feelings of happiness – healthy sex drive – joy in completing tasks – motivated  – optimistic outlook – postitive feelings toward others – rational decisions – yearning to bond with others.
Low Levels of Dopamine: Ambitionless – despair – displeasure – idleness – impaired judgement – low sex drive – remorseless of own behavior – social anxiety – unable to feel love.

4. Serotonin (a neurotransmitter):

Too Much Serotonin: Anxiety – gastrointestinal disorders – insomnia – sexual malfunction.
Not Enough Serotonin: Decrease or increase in appetite – insomnia – isolation – loss of libid – low self confidence – ongoing saddness – over sensitive –– sore joints and muscles – stoamch pain.

5. Testosterone ( a hormone):

Low Testosterone:  Anger decreased motivation and self esteemdecreased muscle mass and increased body fat – depression – difficulty with concentration and memory – fatigue – low sex drive – irritability .

6. Prolactin (a hormone): After orgasm, it may make one feel sexually satisified and repress dopamine.

Excess Levels of Prolactin: Depression – diminished interest in bonding with others – – lowered testosterone levels – low sex drive – depression – infertility – irritibility – lethargy – pessimistic outlook – weight gain.

This is how it works:

Men experience a rush of dopamine during orgasm that puts them in a state of ecstasy. However – in most men – the blissful feeling disappears after 5-10 seconds. Interestingly, the surge of dopamine triggers an almost simultaneous burst of prolactin that causes dopamine levels to plummet. The result is a dopamine level that is much lower than it was before sexual arousal began. In addition, an above normal level of prolactin continues for up to two weeks.

Woman receive a peak in dopamine during orgasm, but it doesn’t crash drastically; rather, it subsides in a sequence of steps. Prolactin increases to a level slightly above normal – staying there briefly while dopamine levels return to their normal level. Women’s dopamine levels vary throughout the month based on their menstrual cycle.

You may be wondering what this means. It means that…

1. Male Orgasms Are Addicting

Have you heard a song about love or sex being a drug or addictive and wondered if there were any truth to it? Consider the following song lyrics:

“Oh oh catch that buzz
Love is the drug I’m thinking of
Oh oh can’t you see
Love is the drug for me” – Love Is The Drug by Roxy Music

“The perfect drug | the perfect drug | the perfect drug
You make me hard when I’m all soft inside
I see the truth when I’m all stupid-eyed
The arrow goes straight through my heart
Without you everything just falls apart” – The Perfect Drug by Nine Inch Nails

Well – male orgasms can definitely be addicting due to dopamine, the “I have to have it” neurochemical. When comparing brain scans, Gurt Hoistege, a Dutch Scientist found a resemblance to orgasm and shooting heroin.

After they researched rats, scientists in Mexico City pointed out that repeatedly ejaculating can imitate the effects of abusing drugs.

2. Men Experience a Post-Orgasm Hangover

After orgasm, men experience a hormonal hangover similar to an opiate or cocaine withdrawal due to low dopamine and high prolactin. Dopamine levels fall while prolactin levels rise after orgasm and after stopping an opiate or cocaine. It takes two weeks for prolactin levels to normalize after stopping cocaine.

During a post-orgasm “hormonal hangover,” men may look for new highs, such as drinking alcohol – eating sweets – new sex partners – porn – and drugs, to boost their dopamine levels. They may also feel disconnected from their partner – experience depression – or become lethargic.

When dopamine levels are constantly bursting up and plummeting down due to uncontrolled orgasms, it can wreak havoc on relationships. Your relationships could feel like a never-ending roller coaster ride full of highs and lows with no middle ground.

3. Too Many Orgasm Lead Him To Cheat

Once plighted, no men would go whoring.
They’d stay with the one they adore,
If women were half as alluring
After the act as before – Ancient Greek Anthology Poem

Or we could phrase it:

Once married, no men would be cheaters.
They’d be faithful to the one they adore, rather than acting a whore
If women stayed half as enticing
After orgasming as before 😉

In any case – long before our time, humans knew that men cheated on their wives because they were not as appealing after sex! Once again, dopamine is the chemical responsible for men choosing to act in a way we don’t like.

Scientists found that after male rats partake in a frenzy of sexual intercourse, they will lose interest in that female. However, if a new female comes along, the male will have sex with her. They linked the phenomon of mate fatigue to dopamine. When a male rat has intercourse repeatedly with the same female, dopamine levels continue to drop. When a fresh potential mate arrives, a surge of dopamine follows.

So – to keep your men feeling you are the most beautiful woman on earth with an unsurpassing pussy – you must control their orgasms!

4. Repeated Orgasms Decrease His Sex Desire

Male rats also experience a decrease in testosterone receptor for up to seven days within their reward circuit. Hormones, such as testosterone, and neurochemicals dock on the nerve cells, along with receptors. In this instance, fewer receptors equals less reactivity to circulating testosterone. As a result, the reward system releases less dopamine.

The first problem is that low testosterone, or a reduced sensitivity to it, can cause anger and irritation. No woman wants to give a man an orgasm and receive annoyance in return!

[adrotate group=”9″]Not only that – you don’t want to allow your men to cum if the result is a lowered sex drive. This brings us to the second problem, which is the fact that endorphin and serotonin levels go up in the reward system of sexually satisfied rats. Endorphins and serotonin are both neurochemicals that can produce happiness, but when they are in this part of the limbic system, they bring things to a stop rather than only generating good feelings. Think of it this way: Antidepressants, such as Zoloft – Prozac – and Lexapro, that increase serotonin and narcotics, such as Vicodin – Percocet – and Methadone that imitate endorphins, can cause sexual side effects. When neurochemicals diminish the reward circuit for a period of time, your complications in your relationship – both physically and emotionally – can occur.

If you want your guys to have a low sex drive for several days to a week, let them have orgasms whenever they chooses – or allow them to take an antidepressant or opiate! If you just thought or yelled – HELL NO – we’re on the same page.

5. Uncontrolled Orgasms Make Him Fall Out of Love

In her book “Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow: From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships,Marnia Robinson points out the following: As a cure for love, the Roman Poet Ovid cynically recommends pursuing orgasm until it results in disinterest.

cruel Love presses your neck beneath his foot?…
Go, and enjoy your girl, any time, nothing’s forbidden:
let her steal away your nights and days.
Seek loathing for your sickness: and let loathing end it.
Now, too, when you believe you could be free, stay on,
till you’re quite overwhelmed, and abundance destroys love,
and disgusted you’ve no pleasure in her house. – Or Sate Yourself With Her by Ovid

Due to a dopamine drop and prolactin burst after orgasm, “eventually a man can develop feelings of indifference or hate for his sexual partner,” according to Taoist Secrets of Love by Mantak Chia.

Oxytocin is the chemical that keeps love alive. Lovers can increase their oxytocin by cuddling – hugging – holding hands – and massaging each other.

The Cure is Simple

The cure for the chemical chaos that uncontrolled orgasms produce is simple – the cure is male orgasm denial.

Are you ready to dominate your mens brain chemicals – or do you already do so? Share your experience with femdom relationships and male orgasm denial by commenting below. 😉

To learn more about male orgasm denial – read “The Orgasmic Benefits of Male Orgasm Denial.”


  1. As someone who has been practicing this for almost 15 years, I’m glad to see these articles… Although I must say I don’t think these practices should be used by women as a way to “control” men and their orgasms… It’s not an easy thing for a guy to learn to control himself, and I don’t think his partner can do it for him… Although her help is certainly beneficial, if not essential…

    Also, ejaculation is the end of orgasm, not the orgasm itself… When a guy learns to control this, he is NOT denying himself an orgasm, quite the opposite… He learns to direct it inwardly, and upwardly and enjoys a continuous orgasm which grows increasingly more intense every day… This supply’s him with limitless love, happiness, empathy, compassion, and dopamine…

    There are also many yoga, Chi Qong and other practices that I think are essential to learning to control sexual energy… But which most of all help in learning what to do with all that extra energy…

    Anyhow these practices have profoundly changed my life in so many ways… Most of all sex keeps getting so much better and better… I feel so sorry for people who don’t practice this, they have no idea what they’re missing…

    Peace and Love…

  2. First, thank you so much for a, frankly, brilliant website. I’ve discussed many of these topics with my friends in college and I’m happy to see this brand of feminism given exposure. I was lurking at a web forum that discusses orgasm control when I saw this link.

    On the topic of male orgasm denial, I once had a discussion with friends about this. We pointed out how the male orgasm, really, has only one purpose – to signal to a guy when he’s ejaculated and potentially impregnated the woman he’s with. Really, that’s it. It feels good to him but the evolutionary purpose is that signal that his job is done.

    Now the female orgasm, well, what evolutionary purpose does it it have? Apparently it signals a woman that a man knows what he’s doing. It feels good and by all accounts, the feeling is more intense than the man’s. In that regards, the ability to make a woman orgasm might be how a women chose a man for life. Further, a girl can cum several times in one ‘session’ whereas a guy needs recovery time. So it may be perfectly proper to withhold orgasms from guys unless they’re for their evolutionary purpose – baby making – OR unless the woman is impressed enough with him to keep in around.

    Amazing what late night drunken girl talks reveal!