I am now living the cuckolding lifestyle though little more than a year ago I had only the vaguest notion of what a cuckold was or that there is a lifestyle associated with it. I understood the word cuckold to mean a man whose wife was unfaithful to him and it still does per the dictionary. However, cuckolding as a lifestyle could be likened to swinging where only the woman is having sex with others while her man remains faithful to her. To me that sounded like the perfect fantasy from a torrid, woman’s romance novel. Could it possibly be that a sufficient number of boyfriends or husbands could accept such an arrangement in order to make this a so-called lifestyle?
This question came to my mind only after I asked Michael how many women he’d slept with in his life. This can be an explosive topic and many couples avoid the subject like the plague, but Michael and I aren’t like that and I wanted to know. Perhaps I wanted him to know how many men I’d had sex with as well; a full accounting, so to speak.
“About seven hundred and fifty,” was his answer to my question. Needless to say this put a lot of other questions in my mind that needed immediate answers. Had he been a rock star without my knowing it? I’d been prepared for two dozen or more; Michael is an attractive man and exudes sexuality but seven hundred and fifty? How does that happen?
It turns out that for many years, Michael had been involved with swinging with a series of girlfriends and, finally, with the women he married. Considering his weekly attendance at swing parties during that time, his estimated count was probably low. Given that the women in his life had been sleeping with hundreds of men during that period, it was unlikely that my count of a dozen or so would faze him.
I was intrigued by his history and experiences and coaxed him to tell me things. The most surprising revelation was that his biggest turn-on was seeing his woman having sex with other men. With each of the four women who lived the swinging lifestyle with him over the years, Michael fell into the practice of not having sex with other women and enjoyed watching his woman having sex with other men.
“Is this something you want me to do with you?” I asked him. He said no and I wanted to know why. “I only want to do this if it is something that excites you and that you want to do.” He made it clear that he had no interest in having sex with other women but that I could be as sexually free as I wanted. After a few more perfunctory questions, we let the subject drop. However, I couldn’t let go of this idea of sexual freedom for me and faithful monogamy for him. Is that selfish or one-sided? In any case, the idea fascinated me.
– Author Caroline James
My first experience with another man came after Michael and I answered an ad on Craig’s List. Seeing all of those personal ads convinced me that Michael was not alone in wanting to see his woman having sex with other men and that I was not alone in wanting it to happen. We went to the man’s apartment and made small talk and sipped wine before we ended up in the bedroom. Michael watched as Doug had sex with me. I came three times while Doug fucked me missionary style. I don’t know if it was because he was good in bed, because he had a huge cock or because it was all happening with Michael next to me. It all added up to sensory overload.
After all the excitement and intense sex Michael and I experienced in the weeks and days leading up to this first adventure, one would have thought that, upon returning home, we would have been all over each other inflamed by passion. Instead, we enjoyed the most intense and quiet intimacy I’ve ever felt with any man. We cuddled and hugged and kissed but we didn’t fuck and we didn’t make love. We kissed like we did when we were first dating. I was touched by him as never before.
As Jalaja Bonheim writes in The Hunger for Ecstasy: Fulfilling the Soul’s Need for Passion and Intimacy, “Ecstasy is total intimacy with life…” Cuckolding with Michael has given us this sort of intimacy.
By Caroline James, author of Cuckolding: A path for women and a resource for couples