Into Cuckolding

intocuckoldingI am now living the cuckolding lifestyle though little more than a year ago I had only the vaguest notion of what a cuckold was or that there is a lifestyle associated with it. I understood the word cuckold to mean a man whose wife was unfaithful to him and it still does per the dictionary. However, cuckolding as a lifestyle could be likened to swinging where only the woman is having sex with others while her man remains faithful to her. To me that sounded like the perfect fantasy from a torrid, woman’s romance novel. Could it possibly be that a sufficient number of boyfriends or husbands could accept such an arrangement in order to make this a so-called lifestyle?

This question came to my mind only after I asked Michael how many women he’d slept with in his life. This can be an explosive topic and many couples avoid the subject like the plague, but Michael and I aren’t like that and I wanted to know. Perhaps I wanted him to know how many men I’d had sex with as well; a full accounting, so to speak.

“About seven hundred and fifty,” was his answer to my question. Needless to say this put a lot of other questions in my mind that needed immediate answers. Had he been a rock star without my knowing it? I’d been prepared for two dozen or more; Michael is an attractive man and exudes sexuality but seven hundred and fifty? How does that happen?

It turns out that for many years, Michael had been involved with swinging with a series of girlfriends and, finally, with the women he married. Considering his weekly attendance at swing parties during that time, his estimated count was probably low. Given that the women in his life had been sleeping with hundreds of men during that period, it was unlikely that my count of a dozen or so would faze him.

I was intrigued by his history and experiences and coaxed him to tell me things. The most surprising revelation was that his biggest turn-on was seeing his woman having sex with other men. With each of the four women who lived the swinging lifestyle with him over the years, Michael fell into the practice of not having sex with other women and enjoyed watching his woman having sex with other men.

“Is this something you want me to do with you?” I asked him. He said no and I wanted to know why. “I only want to do this if it is something that excites you and that you want to do.”  He made it clear that he had no interest in having sex with other women but that I could be as sexually free as I wanted. After a few more perfunctory questions, we let the subject drop. However, I couldn’t let go of this idea of sexual freedom for me and faithful monogamy for him. Is that selfish or one-sided? In any case, the idea fascinated me.

“Cuckolding, for those unfamiliar with the concept, is a lifestyle where the man is monogamous and the woman is free to have sex with whomever she likes. It is, perhaps, a matriarchal, woman-centric concept and it has become surprisingly popular with men as well as women. Cuckolding is said to be the fastest growing alternative lifestyle and, whether couples incorporate it as fantasy role-play or as reality, it appeals to women and men on primal, intellectual and sociopolitical levels. It has been called the Intellectual Fetish. This provocative lifestyle might just be the ultimate woman’s sexual and romantic fantasy.”

– Author Caroline James

The more I thought about this concept of cuckolding as a lifestyle, the more I felt drawn to it. Not only did I find it sexually titillating, it appealed to certain of my feminist leanings and seemed to be aligned with a matriarchal view of society.

My first experience with another man came after Michael and I answered an ad on Craig’s List. Seeing all of those personal ads convinced me that Michael was not alone in wanting to see his woman having sex with other men and that I was not alone in wanting it to happen. We went to the man’s apartment and made small talk and sipped wine before we ended up in the bedroom. Michael watched as Doug had sex with me. I came three times while Doug fucked me missionary style. I don’t know if it was because he was good in bed, because he had a huge cock or because it was all happening with Michael next to me. It all added up to sensory overload.

After all the excitement and intense sex Michael and I experienced in the weeks and days leading up to this first adventure, one would have thought that, upon returning home, we would have been all over each other inflamed by passion. Instead, we enjoyed the most intense and quiet intimacy I’ve ever felt with any man. We cuddled and hugged and kissed but we didn’t fuck and we didn’t make love. We kissed like we did when we were first dating. I was touched by him as never before.

As Jalaja Bonheim writes in The Hunger for Ecstasy: Fulfilling the Soul’s Need for Passion and Intimacy, “Ecstasy is total intimacy with life…” Cuckolding with Michael has given us this sort of intimacy.

By Caroline James, author of  Cuckolding: A path for women and a resource for couples

Further Reading:

[AMAZONPRODUCTS asin=”1442200316″]This enlightening work investigates the history, incidence, and causes of a unique sexual lifestyle pursued by increasing numbers of couples. It is called by many names, and lived in a variety of ways by different couples. The most common terms used to describe it are ‘hotwife’ or ‘cuckold lifestyle.’ [/AMAZONPRODUCTS] [AMAZONPRODUCTS asin=”1456343246″]Why are women unfaithful to their men? And why do men allow it? And where will it all end? A saucy and provocative book to kindle debate on infidelity, jealously, the chemistry of love, dominating women, men’s desire for possession and much more![/AMAZONPRODUCTS] [AMAZONPRODUCTS asin=”159337481X”]Undressing Infidelity is a fascinating, steamy and compelling book that takes you beyond the cold taboo statistics of divorce and infidelity and into the everyday lives of married women who are having extramarital affairs.[/AMAZONPRODUCTS] [AMAZONPRODUCTS asin=”B004JZWT4M”]Extramarital affairs are often whispered about behind closed doors. In this groundbreaking book, the doors open. Stephanie Gertler and Adrienne Lopez take an intimate and sensitive look at the lives of 26 married or previously married women who have either had an affair, are having an affair, or are wrestling with their conflicting emotions and loyalties as they consider the possibility of being unfaithful to their husbands.[/AMAZONPRODUCTS] [AMAZONPRODUCTS asin=”0275988139″]Riveting vignettes show the inner and outer lives of women engaged in extramarital affairs. In spotlighting the many influences that spur women to cheat—from marital discord, childhood histories and sociopolitical history to pop and postmodern culture—Dr. Praver neither condemns nor condones such affairs. Instead, she aims to help wives question their own desires.[/AMAZONPRODUCTS] [AMAZONPRODUCTS asin=”1580084141″]At least half of all married women have cheated on their man at least once. Yet cheaters often find themselves stumbling through their marriage and their affairs, causing great pain to themselves and the people they care about. If you’re considering having an affair, Judith Brandt’s THE 50-MILE RULE gives women the information they need to make smarter decisions when pursuing sex outside of marriage. [/AMAZONPRODUCTS]


  1. Try reading the Anita Blake vampire series. She makes no mends about her guys being hung. She collects men like strays and gradually builds a stable of men that are faithful to her while she through her adventures collects more men and as she does this it increases her powers and political standing in the paranormal community. I too want my wife to enjoy this lifestyle, with younger well endowed men while I’m at home cleaning the house and doing laundry while she is being taken. I hope this will happen some day, until then i wait patiently.