Interview With A Cuckoldress

It’s 1 AM and Stephanie’s been out all night. Her and her “crew” (a group of women she went to college with) have been club hopping and have stopped in at an all night breakfast diner.

“I crave grease!” she exclaims, oggling the bacon and eggs menu pictures on the wall.

“Grease is the word!” One of her friends giggles.

“it’s got groove, it’s got meaning!” Stephanie responds.

She looks over at me sitting patiently in a booth, pen and paper in hand, tape recorder ready to go.

“I just loved Olivia Newton John in Grease,” she states. “I had perfected that move where she pulls the cigarette out her mouth and steps on it by the time I was 16!”

The waitress is acting impatient so Stephanie and her friends order. She then slides into the booth across from me. She takes my breath away. She’s a looker to be sure, but there’s more…something about her that begs to be worshipped.

“I’m trying to quit,” she says as she lites a cigarette. I nod my understanding to her.

I ask if we can get started. She nods yes.

Ms. Vega, thank you for selecting me to conduct this interview. Why don’t we begin with a brief biography of yourself.

Sure… let’s see… my story is very much the American Dream… My mother was a Mexican immigrant who came to this country with her parents in 1976. They settled in Texas. My mom met my dad, a graduate student and political activist, later that year. They eloped in 1979 because neither his parents nor my mom’s parents approved of the relationship. I was born two years later in 1981.

My mother came from a strict Catholic background. Once here, she became Americanized very quickly, so I grew up in a very open and socially tolerant environment. This opened up my horizons in regards to friends of other races, who and when I dated, etc. My parents were cool, and they were more like my friends during my teen years.

I grew up much like most girls did in my environment.

You’re obviously a new-age woman today. How would you describe the evolution of your sexual attitude and preferences?

New age woman? Hmmm… that’s a new one! I’ve been described as a “Stiletto Feminist” and I’m definitely a social liberal. But you’re probably asking how I arrived at the point I’m at now. I was a bit promiscuous in high school. I could be as much of a dog as any guy! I carried my party-girl ways into college where I was a psych major. I intended to become a relationship counselor, and I still may one day, but that’s the future.

Anyway, in college, one of my professors apparently noticed something in me and took me under her wing, so to speak. This was the first time I had heard the term “Stiletto Feminist.” She became my mentor, and helped form my current sexual attitude, meaning that I should use my sexuality and appeal for MY benefit. As she explained – and still believe this today – that very intelligent people benefit from their intelligence. Physically strong people benefit from their physical prowess. Why is there a stigma attached to a woman using her sexuality to her benefit?

Anyway – Stiletto Feminists have been given a lot of attention lately. There was a great article in Time Magazine featuring the show Sex and the City, and George Magazine defined a Stiletto Feminist as “a woman who embraces easy expressions of sexuality that enhances, rather than detracts from, her freedom.”

And that’s how the philosophy of Scandalous Women evolved.

Was there a key event in your life that acted as a catalyst to your current sexual lifestyle?

No, I can’t really think of a pivotal moment. I mean, before I was married, I was never really faithful to boyfriends. If they wanted a commitment, I made it clear that it was fine with me if I was the only girl they saw. But this left the door open for me to roam if I wanted.

I did commit to my husband, of course. We TALKED about the cuckold lifestyle, but didn’t really agree to do it. I could tell the idea turned him on, but he was hesitant. But wouldn’t you know it, I got busted cheating on him! After a couple of days, however, he was kewl with it. This is how our current relationship blossomed!

Many would consider your Scandalous Women website controversial, especially those from the everyday walks of life. Aside from any entrepreneurial interests you may have, would it be fair to say that your primary motivation for creating the site was to share your sexual views with others?

Uh… yes to a degree. I could have set up an online journal if my SOLE motivation was limited to sharing my sexual views. But in a more expansive sense, I wanted to influence other women and couples to actually EXPLORE the cuckolding lifestyle.

This is why Scandalouswomen is unlike any other cuckolding site on the web. I created as a response to all the ‘in your face’ cuckolding sites that tend to make many women uncomfortable. These women aren’t comfortable with the graphic representations of the cuckolding lifestyle that many of these sites portray… and their men wonder why these women are reluctant to participate!

So I set out to make a site modeled after the magazines that many women read – like Cosmopolitan, Playgirl, and Glamour, for examples. Scandalouswomen often presents a more glamorized view of cheating, cuckolding, and swinging, and gives women the message that it’s OK to be sexual.

Some might say that Scandalous Women also makes a political statement. How would you respond to this?

It didn’t start out that way. I never intended to bring my politics with me into my online sex life, but in the political climate of the past seven years or so, it was difficult not to.

Look, there are those in our society who think they are our moral protectors. You know who they are. We had a president impeached over a goddamned blowjob! These are the people who want to ban a woman’s right to choose. Some pharmacists are using their politics and religion to refuse to fill women’s contraception prescriptions. Why, you may ask? Because sex is power and if you take away a woman’s ability to control her body, you take away her sexual power.

One of their “key” supporters, Jerry Falwell, called the National Organization for Women (NOW) the “National Order of Witches.” My favorite quote from that kook was when he said “Women need a man to tell them what time of day it is.”

For the benefit of our uninformed readers, would you please take a moment to explain the differences between cuckolding, cheating, and swinging?

Sure. All of those terms mean “cuckolding.” Here’s what I mean. A cuckold is defined as a man with an unfaithful wife. If she’s cheating, she’s cuckolding him. If a relationship allows the woman to fuck around but not the man, and such an arrangement has been AGREED upon, that is still cuckolding. And if a couple is swinging, then the woman is still not being true to her husband, so this is STILL cuckolding. But most of us know it’s really more complicated than this.

Explain cuckolding to the uninformed reader.

Um, that’s difficult. Many people who are interested in the cuckold lifestyle have their own nuanced definition of what cuckolding is. I sometimes get e-mails from men claiming that what I promote isn’t really cuckolding. The gist of their complaints against the Scandalouswomen philosophy is that the woman is in control.  They’ve been influenced, by the kinds of websites I mentioned earlier, into believing that the woman in a cuckolding relationship must be submissive, essentially a pawn of her husband’s, and that it isn’t cuckolding unless it’s done with black men.

But remember, the key to cuckolding is the “unfaithful wife.” In the Scandalouswoman philosophy, the cuckoldress ALWAYS has the power in the relationship.

A cuckoldress in a Femdom-male submissive relationship also holds the power in the relationship. How does the Scandalouswomen style of cuckolding differ from the Femdom who cuckolds her male submissive?

As I mentioned earlier, Scandalous Women have the power in their relationships. On the net, you often hear of how cuckolds broker the deal with her and her lovers. Not in the Scandalouswomen mode of cuckolding! Consider us dominatrixes without the whips! Or we use the ultimate whip, hence the term pussy-whipped! This is all about OUR sexual pleasure. And that goes for the guys we have on the side, too. If you’re a dominant male, or an alpha male as you term it, and you hook up with a Scandalous Woman, there’s a potential conflict there. You may want to be in control, but WE will be in control.

That’s very interesting! We don’t often hear about a Cuckoldress dominating her husband AND all of her lovers! Don’t you EVER feel a desire to be dominated by a true alpha-male?

No, not at all. Now, I do like my lovers to be masculine. I’ve never understood the “sissy” thing you hear about online, nor do I want to dress my men up as women. Ewww! I want MANLY men, and I want to break their spirits the way you would break a wild horse.

I can certainly understand your attraction to masculine men. However, not all male submissives are cross-dressing sissies. Some are very masculine appearing. Can a Scandalous Woman be in a Femdom-male submissive relationship?

Well, I understand not all male submissives are cross-dressing sissies. But I seem to get my fair share of them hitting on me. As for your question, I believe scandalouswomen ARE in femdom-male submissive relationships. I believe it is a sign of submissiveness to allow or tolerate your woman to take other lovers. Now, that doesn’t mean these men are all sniveling “Yes, dear” whimps. Many are very masculine and strong in other aspects of their lives. And yes, Scandalous Women often employ the tools and techniques of the femdom trade – some of us more than others, though.

Then would it be fair to say that you are a true alpha-female?

You bet!

What do you look for when selecting a lover?

People have asked me that before, and there really is no one single answer. I like pity fucks where the guy is so overwhelmed by me that he melts in my grasp. When I was younger I really took advantage of those kind of guys and it was fun! I also like the arrogant types. There’s a dance you do with them as you feel each other out. Sort of a power play. I find that most exhilarating.

I’ve had white, black, and Hispanic. I’ve had men from other countries. Big dicks, small dicks, and everything in between. If pressed to identify one thing that attracts me most to a man, it would be his desire to please me.

Your husband is a cuckold. Please tell us more about him and your history together as cuckoldry lifestylists.

He is such a sweet and caring guy. He’s my rock. He knew the kind of girl I was when we first hooked up, and I think he was infatuated with my nature. I warned him that I was restless, that I might not be faithful, but that I could be very discreet. I explained that he’d never have to worry about walking in on me fucking someone, or even finding out. No one would ever rub his nose in it.

The fear of exposure is a key issue to many prospective cuckolds, and a main reason why many men are hesitant to explore this lifestyle in the first place! They’re terrified that they’ll look like a wimp to friends or family if he’s ever exposed as a cuckold. If you’re a woman reading this, RESPECT this fear! Never make it obvious that you’re slutting around.

I reassured my husband that I loved HIM, and if I ever did decide to take lovers, I would never love any of them. But after all the little heartfelt conversations we had about this topic, he got a little bit too curious. He began playing detective, and he eventually caught me. He said he had to know. We built on this episode, however. He eventually felt glad that he knew, and glad that he learned how to handle the emotions involved.

Recent prime-time television seems to indicate that our society is finally beginning to embrace Female Domination, at least in the bedroom. In your opinion, how far away is our society from embracing Cuckoldry as a lifestyle?

Well, I think it’s totally accepted now, as long as it’s not YOUR wife doing the screwing around. Everyone seems engrossed with Sex and The City and Desperate Housewives. We rooted for Gabrielle, and hoped her husband wouldn’t catch her with her young lover. We even hope to see her behave even sluttier. Adultery is the in-thing with women on TV and movies and we’re glued to the screen. But I don’t believe society is ready to accept that their OWN wives, daughters, or mothers are like that – even though recent studies suggest that over 50% of all women have had affairs!

But our icons ooze girl-power. Madonna is a perfect example. Girls are also buying Cat Woman Barbie-Dolls, complete with spiked heels and a whip! There is an environment of sexuality for today’s women that clearly comes across in the media.

Some say that media reflects society, while others say that society is media-driven. Whatever the case may be, consider how girls are being raised in today’s environment. They’re being taught that they can do anything that boys can do. Is there any wonder why the climate of female sexual dominance continues to grow hotter in our society?

No Ms. Vega, indeed there isn’t!