When you first start dating someone, it’s difficult to keep your hands off him or her. All you want to do is have sex and talk, have sex and eat, have sex and explore the world and did I mention have sex?! You get the picture. About nine months ago, I was in that phase of dating with a new guy. It was all going seamlessly until he had an outbreak on his lip. He had never told me he had HSV-1 type herpes before, but I guess that isn’t something you bring up until it becomes an issue.

At first, I didn’t know what to do. I had never dated someone before with herpes and I didn’t know how to respond. The first thing that became apparent was we weren’t going to be kissing for a couple weeks, or until his cold sore cleared up. This was difficult to accept because kissing is one of my favorite intimate activities and man was he a great kisser. Just kissing gets me excited, even if it doesn’t lead to sex. I also found it to be a marvelous form of foreplay, among other things like oral sex, but he couldn’t do that for me either. I was beginning to think having sex or any type of sexual pleasure for the next two weeks was out of the picture. It wasn’t until we were in wine country, in a hotel bathroom, enjoying some of the most delicious finger play I had ever experienced that I realized, our sexual experiences together were getting better because his outbreak was forcing us to mix things up.

All my life, I had feared STDs or coming in contact with someone with an STD. It was crazy to think that an STD was actually a catalyst for greater sexual experiences between my partner and myself. If you are an individual with either HSV-1 or HSV-2 type herpes or you’ve recently been diagnosed, I am here to tell you your sex life is far from over and actually it may just start to get good and I mean real good.

All of these positions can be used if you’re in a heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual, polyamorous or transgender relationship. If you find a position to be difficult to do because it isn’t involving you or your partner’s particular genitalia, feel free to make up your own rendition of the position.

An STD is an Opportunity Not a Death Sentence

After you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you start to know exactly how to push your partner’s juicy buttons and before you know it, your hour sexcapades turn into five-minute wham bam thank you mams. Some of you may be satisfied with your sex lives, however, if you’re looking to spice things up and your partner is having an outbreak, here are some toe-curling techniques that will still make you say OH by the end. I’ve broken the techniques down for people who have HSV-1 (oral herpes) and those who have HSV-2 (genital herpes), as each come with their own risks and also their own sexual roadmaps.

Sex Tips For HSV-1

This one is for all the fellas out there, who have some killer finger magic up their sleeve. First, put your lady up on a table, desk, bathroom counter or anything that’s elevated. Have her wrap her legs around you. Look deep into her eyes and begin touching her breasts with one hand, while you massage her inner thighs with your other hand. Slowly bring your hand on her breast to the edges of her hair and begin to caress her head and neck. As you’re doing this, begin to take your index finger and run it around the opening of her vagina. You will begin to feel the blood rushing to that area, don’t get distracted by that or her heavy breathing, just keep your fingers light. Keep getting as close to each other as possible without kissing. Even allow her to rest her head on your shoulder for greater stability and relaxation. Try to continue at a gentle pace, even if she’s begging for more, that means it’s working! Finally, in the last minutes before she comes, put your index finger inside of her to find the G-Spot and just start working at that bad boy. It won’t take her long to cum since you’ve built up so much sexual energy for her in the first part. And when she finally cums, get even closer to her body and feel her whole body react to your pleasure skills.

For the ladies, if you’ve never tried a penis massage, this is your opportunity. Move your hands in a circular motion around his abdomen, eventually bringing your hands around his inner thighs, hips and groin. Next, bring your hands to the sides of the shaft of his penis, creating equal amounts of pressure on both sides. Move your hands up his shaft in a clockwise and counter clockwise motion. Keep him on his toes by throwing in a little anal finger action if he’s down while using your other hand to continue massaging. Bring him to wear you think he might cum then get on him and ride till he can’t take it anymore.

Sex Tips For HSV-2

You know what’s sexier than actual sex? Mutual masturbation. Try it facing each other, side-by-side or back-to-back. Talk dirty to one another as you pleasure yourselves. Tell each other what you want to do and how you want it. Maybe even telling your partner to look at you or the general area of your genitals before you both cum is super hot. Some men even enjoy vibrations on their penis. Buy a couple pocket rockets and go to town on each other. This will make your masturbation session even more intimate.

Safe Sex is Hot  

No matter what, you always want to be upfront with your partner when you’re having an outbreak. Sex is hot, even when you’re doing it safely. When you’re having a genital outbreak, refrain from vaginal sex or oral sex, depending on who is having the outbreak. Wash your hands frequently and if you’re having an oral outbreak, keep those lips to yourself and then they’ll be good to go in no time.

Hope these spicy sex tips gave you a couple fun ideas for your night and if anyone has others to add, feel free to leave me a comment.

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There is nothing off-limits when Emily Solomon writes. After graduating with a bachelors degree in writing & publishing from Emerson College, she took a side track through the wine business all to end up back at her writing roots. She now runs her own business, Go-Content.com, where she writes content for business websites and assists companies in managing their social media presence. She thanks god for deadlines and delicious bottles of wine, not necessarily in that order.


  1. Thank you for this. I came to this site looking for erotic fiction for women because I have genital HSV1 and haven’t quite felt like myself sexually. This was a nice additional article to find. I feel supported and inspired!