Powerful, accomplished women intimidate some men, but fascinate others. If you are a feisty, take-charge kind of gal, you’ve probably had your share of problems with men and wonder if you’ll ever find Mr. Right. You don’t want a wimp who won’t stand up for himself (and you!) but you don’t want a man who insists on being in control all the time either.

You may feel like you have to submerge your real personality in order to get along with a man, but sooner or later the power struggles begin. Don’t give up hope on romance just yet. There’s a reason for the problem and there’s a solution.

Many couples today are making a conscious decision for the woman to be head of household and the man to be her helpmate. Ambitious powerful women often find that partnering with a man who is supportive rather than competitive creates a harmonious and peaceful home and helps her achieve her goals.

Not all personality types are suited to this kind of relationship, but those who are have a unique set of desires, strengths and personality traits that are better expressed in a non-traditional kind of relationship.

So how do you know whether a role reversal relationship might be right for you? Here are the top five telltale signs that you might be happier than you ever imagined if you take the lead in love and marriage.

1. You enjoy setting goals and reaching them and are achieving success in your work.

2. You are ambitious, assertive and have lots of drive.

3. You are more decisive and more of a risk-taker than most people.

4. You’re frustrated because men can’t seem to handle a strong woman like you.

5. You’ve just about given up on your dream of a great romantic relationship.

If three or more of these statements are true for you, then you are a natural born leader who may be having trouble finding the right partner. Despite all the efforts to liberate ourselves from rigid gender roles, women in our society are still conditioned to want a man who has the outward characteristics of a leader: decisive, self-confident and aggressive. These types of traits are considered masculine, but women can possess them and be leaders, too.

If you are a woman who’s naturally a leader, the man who is a best match for you is likely to be a supportive type of personality who is nurturing and caring. That doesn’t mean he is weak or incompetent as a man. He simply has a different set of dominant personality traits that don’t fit our society’s image of the ideal male.

The man who is right for you, while successful in his own career, finds strong dominant women a turn-on and enjoys having you in charge on the home front. He would love to be your head cheerleader and devote himself to making your life easier and more comfortable. However, he does not know how to tell you because he’s afraid you’ll think he is weak. You may have already passed over a man like this, not realizing that he was a perfect partner for you.

It may seem strange and difficult to accept that a woman could be the leader in a marriage. It means giving up your fairytale wish for the Prince who will arrive on his white charger, take over your life and make you happy. Traditional marriage roles simply do not work for everyone. Role reversal relationships are on the rise as more men and women discover that there is another path to Happy Ever After.

Barbara Wright Abernathy
America’s authority on female-led relationships and author of “Venus On Top: Women Who Are Born to Lead and the Men Who Love Them.”