Cuckolding in Long-term Relationships: Exciting and Beneficial

I want to preface this article by stating I have never been in a cuckold relationship. I wanted to write this article solely on the basis of interest in sexual happiness, and the curiosity of how to maintain it in a long-term relationship. Through my last month of research, I have discovered that part of my hypothesis was correct. Living a cuckold lifestyle can increase happiness in a long-term relationship, however, what I realized is happiness can only exist if the lifestyle is explored between the right couple.

In this article, I will discuss what a cuckold relationship is, who the right candidates are to enter into a cuckold relationship and who aren’t, what types of questions to ask your partner before deciding to involve another man and why cuckolding is a great lifestyle to enhance female sexual happiness.

Cuckolding 101

Cuckolding is one of the fastest growing alternative lifestyles today. Cuckolding is a sexual lifestyle shared between a husband and wife. The couple agrees to involve another man that will have sexual relations with the wife or she will have the option to date other men. The husband is named the cuckold, the wife is called hotwife, and the single man is the bull. The term bull is used more widely in interracial cuckolding.

According to, there are three types of cuckolds: the submissive, forced bisexual, and the voyeurs. The submissive cuckold will desire seeing how much better a sex partner the other man is than himself. He may even enjoy wearing a chastity device on his penis so he can’t get off during the sexual act. The forced bisexual gets excited, because he is allowed to explore gay desires of watching another naked man have sex in a safe, nonjudgmental arena. While the voyeurs get off merely by watching a man bring his wife to climax.

Good Candidates for a Cuckold Relationship

If you’re interested in having a cuckold relationship with your man, you must be in a loving, trusting relationship, where impulses of jealousy or mistrust are not a common occurrence, because not only does your husband have to accept you having sex with another man or men, he should also desire seeing it. Cuckolding also works well for couples that are sexually open with each other. It can also be a great way to spice up your sex life. As women move into their 30s, their libidos start increasing. For women going through menopause, the hormone replacement pills can increase a woman’s libido, making her want to have sex more often. As men age, their libido decreases. By entering into a cuckold relationship, the wife’s sexual appetite and the husband’s ability to satisfy her without exerting his own efforts will be fulfilled.

Cuckolding has also been deemed a fetish for people with high IQ’s. Anneli Rufus writes in her article The Intellectual Sex Fetish that it takes a very smart man to move past jealousy, and that initial want to tear apart the man who has potentially tainted the marital bond him and his wife share. Instead, the man understands jealousy is a social construct and what the man is truly feeling is competition. “That’s why it’s mostly intellectuals who are into cuckolding: because other guys are crippled by jealousy. They’re aroused and upset and don’t know why,” says Rufus.

Bad Candidates for a Cuckold Relationship

Cuckolding is not for everyone. In some relationships, being a cuckold could potentially damage the sanctity of the marital bond the couple has created. Many men will not be able to move past jealousy in order to feel the pleasure of seeing their wife fucking another man, even if he knows it’s purely sexual. What he understands is his wife’s vagina is only for his dwelling and another man should not enter it. Women may feel uncomfortable sharing their body with another man, even if her husband encourages it. And even the most sexually adventurous couples will realize fantasizing about bringing another man into their sexual relationship is very different when the fantasy becomes reality. This brings me to my next point on the importance of discussing cuckolding before engaging in it.

Discussing Having a Cuckold Relationship with your Partner

Whispering to your man that you want to fuck the guy sitting across from you in the restaurant, then going back to eating your meal is one thing, but actually going through with it, in front of your husband, is another story. If you’re interested in experiencing a cuckold relationship, it’s important to hash out all the details with your partner beforehand. Here are a couple loose guidelines to having a positive discussion on cuckolding with your partner.

Discuss the possible emotions that could come up for the both of you before, during and after the act. On a scale of 1-10, at what level will your husband’s jealousy be at if he sees a man touching you? Does he get uncomfortable at the thought of you being brought to orgasm by another man? Are you uncomfortable with sharing your bed with someone who isn’t the man you’re committed to? Are you self-conscious about your body image and afraid to be naked in front of a stranger? Are you both interested in trying this one time or making it a permanent lifestyle change? Have either of you experienced female dominated sex before? If not, I would encourage you both to meander around that area before moving into a cuckold relationship. If you’re currently in a FemDom relationship and you find the role reversal to be enticing and liberating for both of you, than you may be ready to talk about the logistics of cuckolding such as how you will find your bull, will your man be allowed to have sex with you after and how long, and will the bull be allowed to stick around once the sexual act has been completed?

Why Women Enjoy Cuckolding

There are multiple reasons as to why women are happier in cuckold relationships. For one, it satisfies the increase in libido women can experience between the ages of 27 and 45. It also enables women to indulge in their innate desire to have multiple partners without feeling like they are cheating. Plus, women in a cuckold relationship are the center of attention, so by receiving the majority of the pleasure, their happiness builds.

In the end, entering into a cuckold relationship with the man in your life can be thrilling, scary and life changing, for the right couple. Luckily, there are tons of wonderful resources online where you can research and chat with people who understand your desire to explore the fetish. Don’t feel inhibited to take a peak, you may be surprised at what you discover.


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There is nothing off-limits when Emily Solomon writes. After graduating with a bachelors degree in writing & publishing from Emerson College, she took a side track through the wine business all to end up back at her writing roots. She now runs her own business,, where she writes content for business websites and assists companies in managing their social media presence. She thanks god for deadlines and delicious bottles of wine, not necessarily in that order.


  1. My girlfriend and I have been together since April of 2009. We have been exploring the cuckold lifestyle since January of 2011. None of these three categories of cuckold completely explain our dynamic but none of them is completely false either. I am submissive to her but not to her lovers. She wouldn’t stay with anyone who disrespected me. I do have some bisexual tendencies but I don’t think they’re related to what she’s doing. I don’t watch her with her lovers so there isn’t any direct voyeurism but there is enjoyment after the fact when she tells me of her adventures. One aspect not covered here is the statistical cuckold. We like to keep a log of our girlfriend’s/wife’s dating. Who she was with, when she was with him, what they did, and where they went.

    Your good candidates/bad candidates suggestions ring true. There are still the occasional feelings of jealousy on my part but they are heavily eroticized and not in any way associated with anger or rage.

    Also, we don’t call it a cuckold relationship. What we say is that we’re in a relationship that’s open on her end. We agreed that calling it a cuckold relationship made it too much about me. Our wording, we think, better describes us.

    Also Emily, you might be interested to know that my girlfriend graduated from Emerson in the early 2000s.

    • Hi Parker,

      Thank you for commenting on my article. I really appreciate you opening up the discussion on the cuckold lifestyle and the variations of it. I hope your words inspire others to share as well through If you have an idea for a follow-up article, please let me know.

  2. Nice article, I concur with Parker in that many guys don’t want to make it about them and don’t want to call it a cuckold relationship, but open or hotwife relationship. Never been in one myself, would love to explore it with the right person. Emily great job… Love your name and please allow me to say you are very beautiful…

  3. We have been living in a cuckold relationship for about a year. After having been married for about 20 years (hubby was the first and only till then) we first started swinging together. However, Sven is pretty small down there and most of the time could not get it up in front of others. He is a good man, but not that good in the bedroom.
    So we concluded that he is probably a natural cuckold. In the last year I have had sex with 6 different men. All were larger than hubby and very good lovers. I have had some amazing sex. In fact, I never really liked sex much until we started the lifestyle.
    Our bond is now stronger than ever and our sex life has also gotten better. It is a win-win for both of us, but it does require good communication.

  4. A few years ago I started noticing my husbands sex drive was diminishing. He was not that old but was going thru a lot of stress at work. I didn’t push the issue but was becoming very frustrated. We used to have sex three or more times a week and now I was lucky to get it once a month.

    I thought it was me although I had been working out and I was in the best shape of my life. I had always put a lot of effort into my appearance and men where constantly checking me out. I began to walk around with less and less around the house but no effect. One day I was out in the yard wearing only a pair of panties and a top that was virtually see thru. Our yard is very private so I didn’t expect anyone to see me. There where times I laid out totally naked so my husband knew I was out there. It used to turn him on but lately nothing. He came out and was working on the garden. It was hot so I pulled off everything and jumped in the pool. When I got out I laid down to dry off, that is when a helicopter flew over very low. I knew they could see me very clearly so I waved. The kept going but when I looked over at my husband he was staring at me and smiling. It was clear he enjoyed me showing off for others.

    We where out of beer so I decided to run to the store. I was going to get fully, appropriately dressed but decided what the hell and just pulled on the shortest shorts I had with slits up the side and a top that left NOTHING to the imagination. I had never left the house that way before. I got my keys and told him I was running to the store for beer. He looked me over and said he wanted to come along.

    I walked into the convenience store and he followed but acted like he wasn’t with me. A couple of nice looking guys where in there and they just stared at me. I grabbed the beer and on the way to the register one of the guys started flirting. I smiled and looked over at my husband. He was just watching so I kept talking. It was cold in there and I knew my nipples where starting to bulge out. The guys eyes kept going to them and it was really stroking my ego, so much so I began to get aroused. I thought to myself, if husband wasn’t here and this guy suggested we go and drink the beer together what would I do? The thought of meeting a hot guy in the store, going to his house getting drunk and screwing him went thru my mind. I knew I wouldn’t but thinking about it made me get wet and ready.

    I went to the register and paid for the beer. The guys in there where stripping me with their eyes, not that I had on much to strip. Went back to the car and my husband got in. He seemed very turned on and I could even see a bulge. He asked what I was thinking when I was talking and flirting with that guy. I said of course I was wondering how big his cock was, how hard it was and how I would have loved to wrap my lips around it and then feel it inside my wet and rather neglected pussy!
    He was getting turned on as hell by now! I looked down and he was rubbing himself thru his pants. I said does it turn you on thinking of me screwing other men? He only nodded, probably too embarrassed to talk. We got home and I popped the top on a couple and stripped naked. I sat down on the couch and told him to pull it out. I was so horny by this time I almost felt like stuffing that beer can up inside me!

    He pulled it out and I grabbed it. I pulled it to my mouth and sucked on it and then we drank and screwed the day away. I woke up late afternoon, a bit hung over, a bit sore but still a lot horny! I staggered out to the pool and thought about what happened that day. He asked me several times during sex about screwing other men and what I would have liked doing to that guy in the store and I didn’t hold back. Every sick and perverted thing I could think about including more than one guy at a time. I even recounted one night before we met about screwing two guy together. That made it blow right then and there!

    After a couple of weekends talking about our fantasies and me going out and parading around half naked he asked if I would really go thru with it in front of him. I said I sure as hell would! I also told him I knew of a guy from my past that would be all for it. One of the guys I did that threesome with. I still had his number and a quick call later he was sitting in our living room. A few drinks and I was all over him. It was great, he was a fantastic lover and probably the best I had ever had.

    I was worn out by the time he left and just stayed in bed when my husband let him out. I laid there thinking I just hoped husband didn’t want to screw, I really have had enough for tonight.

    He came back in, stripped and just buried his face between my legs. I loved it, if you have never had a guy eat you after another guy screwed you silly you have to try! I had one orgasm after another until I could not even breath! And the thing is we had given up on the condoms after the second time.
    He didn’t even try to screw me. He just laid next to me and we went to sleep but the next day and week we screwed like rabbits!

    That is my story, not all of it but the first time my husband watched his wife screw another man. The first but not even close to the last!