Collaring him is a symbol of his devotion to you and signal to others that he’s your property.

Hey there ladies, it’s your favorite BDSM enthusiast here with a fun and new exciting article about collaring those boy toys of yours. With the second ‘Fifty Shades’, Fifty Shades Darker movie ramping up to come out next February, the media is going to be going crazy with hot, sexy, and thrilling things to do with your partners. That being said you might get some saucy new ideas that you’re looking to try. For example, collaring your lover!

Remember, acts like these require copious amounts of love, dedication, and responsibility. However, through these duties you are being given the prestigious honor of holding another person’s livelihood in your hands. And as always when practicing any art form of BDSM, follow the three Golden Rules:

Be Safe.

Be Sane.

Be Consensual.

For those that don’t know or couldn’t guess, the term Collaring is the act of placing a collar or collar-like piece of jewelry on your lover in an act of both love and ownership. Although it derived from a much darker time where humans were seen as property, in the BDSM world it represents the ultimate display of love and devotion from one party to another. (We’ll get into willing slavery another time.) In choosing to wear a collar, your person, whether they be defined as a boyfriend, submissive, or pet, is entrusting you with an intense amount of care. To willingly wear proof of submission/ownership is no small thing, and you should feel proud that you are trusted and loved enough to be given the responsibility. Though we often think of a collar as going around the neck, it does not always have to be the case. A ring, piercing, necklace, or bracelet can also be used as a collar. Keep in mind that it is not about what the jewelry is itself, but the meaning behind it. It is wearable proof that no one is as close to your love as you.
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Significance of Collaring Your Men

BDSM collaring for menMuch like a wedding ring, it binds your man to you. The only difference is that if the relationship is ever released(see definition below), there is no need for a legal divorce. Depending on who you and your boy toy are, you may or may not decide that a collaring ceremony would be fitting. Much like a wedding/ reception, a collaring ceremony is a moment dedicated to presenting your collar to your lover, and then holding a festivity for the deepening of the relationship. How each couple handles their collaring is completely up to them and their comfort levels.

That being said, a collar is extremely personal, much like a tattoo. If you’re picking out your lover’s tattoo, you want them to have something they would love to have the rest of their life, right? So along those same lines, you should take care in picking out the collar(s) as well. After all, this is a piece of jewelry that your lover will be wearing for the length of their relationship with you. Today there are many pieces to choose from, starting with a standard wolf collar, a wide band of leather with a lock to keep it in place, and going all the way down to a fashion collar, which is a small strip of leather or fabric that could easily be taken for a necklace. These collars can be adorned with trinkets, lockets, or a chain, depending on your degree of dedication to the act of collaring. If your boy toy isn’t able to wear any of these to his office job, you can easily find something that can blend into the wardrobe of their every day life.

Is Collaring Him Right For You?

Most if not all women who collar their lovers have a dominant streak within them. It’s not that they don’t want to give their men free reign from time to time, it’s just that when it’s time to for them to come home, they remember who they belong to. That being said; make sure to outline your required guidelines with your boy toy. For example, where they can and cannot go for fun, or who their playmates may or may not be.

Following the third Golden Rule of Consent, keep in mind that just because you are ready to collar your man, doesn’t necessarily mean that they are ready to be collared. As women, we have an amazing capacity to call on our inner goddesses and bring our lovers to their knees. But, do we kick our worshippers when they’re down? No! So listen to partner, hear his concerns and feelings about the process, and do whatever he asks to make him comfortable before slip that precious collar over his willing body.

Collaring your lover can be an absolutely amazing experience. With trust, it can create a strong bond between you and your lovers in ways that a plain vanilla relationship just can’t. If there are any questions about the subject, I encourage you to leave them in comments below, and I will do my best to answer them. Til next time, be naughty my friends 😉

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Cassidy Pittman was born in McConnellsburg, Pennsylvania, and has lived in various parts of the United States and China. She graduated from Indiana University of Pennsylvania with a Bachelor’s in Literary Studies and Writing Skills in May of 2012. Cassidy has worked as a ghost writer and editor for international companies.


  1. I read this piece last week just as my boyfriend and I were contemplating taking our relationship to the next level. He’s thinking engagement ring – which I’d love – but now I’m also thinking collaring. I even mentioned it to my mother when she asked about us getting engaged!

    I’m amazed at how many symbols there are that hints at people’s sexual lifestyle. Anklets, tattoos, etc. Now whenever I see ‘neck wear’ in public, I’ll wonder what’s going on in his or her life!