21 is every woman’s let-loose landmark. We’re done with high-school, we don’t have to worry about sneaking in through the window of our parent’s house in the early hours of the morning, and we’re expected to be a mess. Since no self-respecting woman likes to fall short of expectations, if your 21st birthday is coming up (or if you’ve been turning 21 every birthday for the past ten years), try out the following 21 drink choices to ensure a truly trashy 21st.
1. Buttery Nipple Shots
How to make: These scrumptious shots are traditionally made with ½ shot of butterscotch schnapps and ½ shot of Bailey’s Irish Cream. To save a few $$$s, substitute Bailey’s for the cheapest coffee liquor you can find, and top off the shot using coffee creamer.
How to take: Count the number of nipples in your drinking group, and down the accordant number of shots.
2. Knockout Cocktail
How to make: Combine ¾ oz. gin and vermouth, ½ oz anisette and 1 tsp. crème de menthe. Mix vigorously, and don’t forget the ice.
How to take: Knockout cocktails should be accompanied by a game of Knockout. Knockout is played with a triangular formation of 21 cups, set up on the far end of a pong table. The game works similarly to the basketball version, except that instead of leaving the game, “knocked out” players must drain the scored cup before returning to the fray. Fill each cup ¼ full of knockout cocktail.
3. Jager Bombs
How to make: Drop a single shot of Jagermeister into a cup of Redbull and drink at warp speed. Jager Bombs make the ideal 21st birthday supplement, combining drunkenness with energy to ensure that every bad decision you make is undertaken with vigor and enthusiasm.
How to take: Red Bull traditionally comes in packs of four. In these poor economic times, it would be sinful to waste any of those damnably expensive cans, so make sure you use them all tonight.
4. Prohibition Punch
How to make: Take a moment this 21st to appreciate the noble men and women who drank profusely for all of us during the dark days of the lat 1920s and early 1930s. Without them, you would be getting wasted today in a hole in the ground on cocktails brewed in your neighbor’s bathtub. Prohibition punch is made using ½ oz rum, ¾ oz Grand Marnier, 1oz passion-fruit juice, 1 oz cranberry juice, 2oz champagne and a lemon slice.
How to take: Pretend that prohibition begins again tomorrow.
5. Corpse Reviver
How to make: Mix 1oz gin, 1oz Cointreau, 1oz Lillet Blanc, 1oz fresh lemon juice and a dash of absinthe.
How to take: Save the corpse reviver for the morning-after. Drink between making offerings to the porcelain gods and downing all the water your gullet can handle.
6. Lust Cocktail
How to make: Combine 2 shots of vodka, 1 shot of tequila and a dash of Peach Schnapps. Mix with lemonade and orange juice.
How to take: Invest in a can of alcoholic whipped cream and take your lust cocktail one shot at a time off the hottest bods in the room.
7. Orgasm Shooter
How to make: Mix equal parts vodka, amaretto liquor, coffee liquor and Irish cream liquor. Take as a shot or shooter.
How to take: Pour a shot for every orgasm you’ve had in the past six weeks. Confess the name of the man who gave each one to you before knocking it back.
8. Bar Slut
How to make: Combine half a can of Redbull with 2oz cranberry juice, 2oz Mountain Dew and three shots of vodka.
How to take: Order loudly at the bar while giving the closest attractive man your most suggestive gaze.
9 Lemon Drop Shots
How to make: Although there are some more complicated recipes, the cheapest way to make these is to invest in a bottle of Dr. McGillicuddy’s Lemon Drop Schnapps.
How to take: Chase each shot by sucking on a sugar-dipped lemon slice.
10. Midnight Kiss
How to make: Add 3 shots of vodka to a glass of champagne and top with blue curacao liquor.
How to take: Are you too old for Spin the Bottle? Never. Players must kiss whomever their bottle spin lands on, or take a shooter of Midnight Kiss.
11. Four Horseman Shots
How to make: Perhaps named for the hoofbeat-like pounding of your head the morning after, the Four Horsemen consists of equal parts Bacardi, Rumplemintz, Jagermeister and Jose Cuervo.
How to take: This one won’t fit in a shooter, so use a large bar glass. Keeping a chaser nearby is advisable if you have a strong gag reflex.
12. Wasted Witch Coctail
How to make: Combine 2 shots of whiskey and one shot of raspberry vodka with green tea.
How to take: This potion is relatively easy-on-the-stomach, so drink casually when your gullet begs for a break.
13. Sweet Tight Pussy
How to make: Mix ½ ounce melon liquor with 1oz peach schnapps, 1oz pineapple juice and 1oz 7-up.
How to take: Serve in shooters or shots. Count the number of years since you lost your virginity, and take one for each.
How to make: Mix orange juice and vodka and blend with ice.
How to take: A great casual drink to whip up as the sun rises on the morning of your 21st. Drink sparingly–too much orange juice is hard on the stomach, and you have a long day of drinking ahead of you.
15. Irish Car Bomb
How to make: Combine Irish whiskey and Irish cream in a shot glass.
How to take: Drop a single shot into a cup of Irish beer and chug.
16. Spinning Bar
How to make: Add 2 shots of tequilla to ½ can of Monster. Top with two squirts of lemon juice and 1 squirt of lime.
How to take: During a game of dizzy bat, add one shot of Spinning Bar to your bat per round.
17. Napoleon Cocktail
How to make: Add equal parts Grand Mariner and dubonnet rouge to 2 oz gin.
How to take: Napoleon was a bold fighter, honor his legacy by destroying your competition in a game Napoleon-Cocktail-filled Battleshots.
How to make: Fill half a bar glass with equal measures of tequila, vodka, gin and rum.
How to take: Start a casual game of strip poker. Contestants may opt out of removing an item of clothing…if they take a Legspreader.
How to make: Shake up 2oz Absolut Kurant, 1oz Bailey’s Irish Cream, 2oz gin and 1oz Johnnie Walker. Pour into a shooter glass.
How to take: With a chaser of Tylenol and a liter of water..
20. Seduction Cocktail
How to make: 21 is a seductive age, celebrate your sexiness by mixing 1oz orange juice with 1/2oz butterscotch schnapps and ½ ounce lemon-lime soda.
How to take: Line the rim of your glass with alcoholic whipped cream and lick a little bit of cream off with every sip.
21. Pain, Pain Go Away
How to make: Blend 2tblsp Tabasco Sauce, 6 pints Irish whiskey, and 5 dashes of Bailey’s Irish Cream.
How to take: Drink to cure your awful hangover. Follow with a bite of lemon rind and a swig of ginger ale.
Congratulations, you have successfully made your 21st the most unforgettable night you’ll never remember. To keep your celebration wallet-friendly, assign each attendee of your pregame party a specific liquor and mixer. To avoid spending an inordinate amount of money when you reach the bar, wear your best pair of stilettos and keep your cleavage handy. Happy drinking!